BLOG #18

Revised Short Analysis:

Sara Paczkowski

Sample Analysis Draft

SAMPLE 3- Does the way a teacher use text specific comments demonstrate expectations?

The Use of Teacher’s Comments to Demonstrate Expectations

Abstract:

            Teacher feedback gives information about material and can provide a substantial effect on a student’s revision. The use of specific words has an effect on how a student's perception.  Since language is an effective way to communicate, teacher's use a form of written feedback to reference and inform students what and how to revise. Some research may challenge that written feedback does not provide specific expectations but the following research provides evidence that text specific comments do infer additional resources and information. By using specific comments, the students are able to better comprehend their expectations; therefore,  the students consider making more positive revisions.

Experiment:

            In order to conduct this research, I used the sample 3 draft to analyze. I reviewed each comment and coded them using the analytic model, by comment types, specific and general. ). I reflected back on the revised piece and highlighted where the most change took place. Then, I counted the number of revisions made using the comment and which kind of revision (either adding, deleting, rearranging, or substituting I separated the number of revisions between the text-specific comments and the generic comments. After researching the data, I realized the amount of revision was more significant by the text specific comments. Therefore, my data showed that the more text specific the comments were, the more effective the revision was. 

Data:

Analytic Model	Text-Specific:	# of Revisions:	Generic:	# of Revision:
	ask for info/questions: "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose, networks for communication, values/assumptions, lexis, style  etc defines a person as a freelance beauty writer? "	4 (substansive-much more information, 2 more paragraphs of info)	hedges included- "can you..."	2 (added more info and rearranged)
	make a request/question-" so beauty writers select their own images?  Do they work with photographers or do they take their own pictures?"3-make a	3 (substansive-added more in depth information)	average: "work on your intro. this is too general.	1 minor (deleted some info, added different info)
	"What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose	2 (subsanstive- added information with definition and explanation)	long: "This is good!"	0 (no change was made)
	make a request imperative- "Use your analysis to make some generalizations	3 (much more in depth and referring back to previous references)
	"Awesome!So this is a pattern of talk (and way of behaving as you point out in the next paragraph)  a fashion freelancer would need to master."	0 (text specific to the subject but was positive, no changes were made)

HYPOTHESIS:

 I hypothesized that text specific comments and are more effective than generic comments.  Although, general comments also convey information, the text-specific comments gave more information on how to revise and a clear indication of what the teacher expected.

DISCUSSION/PATTERNS:

When referring back to the areas where specific comments were made, the revisions were much more detailed and answered the questions the professor made and also incorporated what the professor asked for. Therefore, the student was aware that in that part of the essay the professor was expecting a certain change and the student made the change in order to obtain the grade he/she wanted.

    Specific comments, such as "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose, networks for communication, values/assumptions, lexis, style, etc. defines a person as a freelance beauty writer?" asks questions and the student can infer that the professor would expect an answer, that is why a professor gives specific feedback.

If the professor did not use specific language to infer what he/she wanted, it would lack the information a  student would need to make effective revisions. Therefore, general comments may convey information but not enough to really support a student to succeed the best to their ability. If the comments are clear and specific enough, the student will  be able to make the correct changes.

The areas where the teacher didn’t make specific comments, such as “good observation!” the student didn't make as many changes because that type of comment shows that it was written well enough to keep the same and it didn't infer any type of change to be made. Therefore, the language selection when giving comments is extremely important and can be used differently.

 Another general comments, such as “"work on your intro. this is too general." shows  expectations by saying change needs to be made, but not at the same degree as a more specific comment. This type of comment could make a student work a little harder, but it doesn't give enough detail to provide expectations.

Therefore, when a teacher writes specific comments, it gives students a certain idea of what the teacher expects. Thus, a student will have a better idea on how to make the necessary changes in order to develop the most effective paper. Ultimately, it is a helpful tool for students to use in order enhance their writing skills and succeed in the classroom.

COMMENTS:

There was a wide range of comments that were used in this draft.  Both general and specific comments were encouraging, detailed and unbiased. The comments were clear and to the point and were not discouraging.

The comments that were used were encouraging and positive. Therefore, I inferred that if a student feels better about the comments because they are detailed, positive and clear, they are less likely to feel discouraged and more likely to make the necessary changes. Consequently, the way the teacher provides text-specific comments should be positive and clear, not overwhelming and discouraging.

General comments, such as “"work on your intro. this is too general." also shows expectations by saying change needs to be made but not at the same degree as a more specific comment. This type of comment makes a student work a little harder to use the rest of the comments as a guide.

ANLAYSIS/CONCLUSION:

Because there were text specific comments, such as giving imperative requests such as "hit the general overview of gee and swales," I observed that comments can be useful in order for a teacher to present what they are looking for, and for a student to be aware of their expectations. Positive text-specific comments give specific insight to what a teacher wants and in what capacity. Being positive and clear is also an important factor because it motivates students and does not discourage them. Consequently, it is an opportunity to comprehend the changes needed in order to get a better grade. In each part of the essay where the professor made text specific comments, the student made substantial improvements in order to meet the professor’s expectations.

General comments give detail and expectations but may not give enough detail in order to support a professor’s broader expectations. Therefore the revisions may not be as substantive.

LIMITATIONS:

Since I chose to do the sample draft I sent in, I am familiar with comments and how they helped me become aware of what was expected. If someone is not familiar with the assignment, they might not think that the comments were that specific. Also, if they did not have the revisions, they would not know what specific changes the student made. Since I knew that I revised the paper accordingly and received a better mark, I know that the text-specific comments were able to show me what the teacher was expecting in certain places of my essay.

OVERALL THEORY:

I believe that text specific comments and feedback to give enough information to a student to make proper revisions to meet the professor’s expectations.