Sara Paczkowski
Sample Analysis Draft
SAMPLE 3- Does
the way a teacher use comments demonstrate expectations?
The Use of Teacher’s Comments to Demonstrate
Expectations
Abstract:
The words that are used to give feedback and information about
material provide substantial effects on student’s perceptions. Specific
words have an effect on the point being made. Language is an effective way to communicate
and written feedback is an important factor when giving references and information for students to revise. Some research may challenge that written feedback does
not provide specific expectations but the following research provides evidence
that text specific comments do infer additional resources and information. By
using specific comments, the value of the teacher’s expectations rise; therefore, students
consider positive revisions.
Experiment:
In order to conduct this research, I used the sample
3 draft to analyze. I reviewed each comment and coded them using the analytic
model, by comment types and use of hedges. I then separated them into sections
dividing the generic and specific comment types. I reflected back on the
revised piece and highlighted where the most change took place. I separated the
revised piece by the amount of revision. After researching the data, I realized
the amount of revision was more significant by the text specific comments.
Therefore, my data showed that the more text specific the comments were, there
was more indication of what the teacher expected which the student want to
fulfill.
Data:
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Analytic Model:
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Comment Types:
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Use of Hedges:
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Text-Specific:
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Revision: (since this was my paper)
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2- average: "work on your intro. this is too general."
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1-ask for info/questions: "What defines the identity toolkit for
beauty writers? What purpose, networks
for communication, values/assumptions, lexis, style etc defines a person as a freelance beauty
writer? "
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1- hedges included- "can you..."
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0- generic
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6- substantive
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3- long: "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty
writers? What purpose,
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2-make a request/question-" so beauty writers select their own
images? Do they work with
photographers or do they take their own pictures?"3-make a
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1- text specific-
"Awesome! So this is a pattern
of talk (and way of behaving as you point out in the next paragraph) a fashion freelancer would need to
master."
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7-make a positive comment, statement- "Good observation about
the adjectives!"
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4- make a request imperative- "Use your analysis to make some
generalizations
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HYPOTHESIS:
Text
specific comments and some general comments show the student what a teacher is
expecting. Text specific comments give more of an indication of expectations.
DISCUSSION/PATTERNS:
When
referring back to the areas where specific comments were made, the revisions
were much more detailed and answered the questions the professor made and also
incorporated what the professor asked for. Therefore, the student was aware
that in that part of the essay the professor was expecting a certain change and
the student made the change.
If
the professor did not use specific language to infer what he/she wanted, it
would lack expectations and the revisions probably would not be made correctly.
The
areas where the teacher didn’t make specific comments, such as “good
observation!” the student make as many changes or changes at all because that
type of comment shows that it was written well enough to keep the same.
Therefore,
where the teacher writes comments and the level specifics initiates a certain
expectation for revision.
COMMENTS:
There
was a wide range of comments that were used in this draft. Both general and specific comments were
encouraging, detailed and unbiased. The comments were clear and to the point
and were not discouraging.
Specific
comments, such as "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty
writers? What purpose, networks for communication,
values/assumptions, lexis, style, etc. defines a person as a freelance beauty
writer?" asks questions and the student can infer that the professor would
expect an answer, that is why a professor gives specific feedback.
General
comments, such as “"work on your intro. this is too general." also
shows expectations by saying change needs to be made but not at the same degree
as a more specific comment. This type of comment makes a student work a little
harder to use the rest of the comments as a guide.
ANLAYSIS/CONCLUSION:
Because
there were text specific comments, such as giving imperative requests such as
"hit the general overview of gee and swales," I observed that
comments can be useful in order for a teacher to present what they are looking
for, and for a student to be aware of their expectations. Positive
text-specific comments give specific insight to what a teacher wants and in
what capacity. It is an opportunity to see improvements that are needed in
order to get a better grade. In each part of the essay where the professor made
text specific comments, the student made substantial improvements in order to
meet the professor’s expectations.
General
comments give detail and expectations but may not give enough detail in order
to support a professor’s broader expectations. Therefore the revisions may not
be as substantive.
LIMITATIONS:
Since
I chose to do the sample draft I sent in, I am familiar with comments and how
they helped me become aware of what was expected. If someone is not familiar
with the assignment, they might not think that the comments were that specific.
Also, if they did not have the revisions, they would not know what specific
changes the student made. Since I knew that I revised the paper accordingly and
received a better mark, I know that the text-specific comments were able to
show me what the teacher was expecting in certain places of my essay.
OVERALL THEORY:
I
believe that text specific comments and feedback to give enough information to
a student to make proper revisions to meet the professor’s expectations.
