Blog #14

Sara Paczkowski

Sample Analysis Draft

SAMPLE 3- Does the way a teacher use comments demonstrate expectations?

The Use of Teacher’s Comments to Demonstrate Expectations

Abstract:

            The words that are used to give feedback and information about material provide substantial effects on student’s perceptions. Specific words have an effect on the point being made. Language is an effective way to communicate and written feedback is an important factor when giving references and information for students to revise. Some research may challenge that written feedback does not provide specific expectations but the following research provides evidence that text specific comments do infer additional resources and information. By using specific comments, the value of the teacher’s expectations rise; therefore, students consider positive revisions.

Experiment:

            In order to conduct this research, I used the sample 3 draft to analyze. I reviewed each comment and coded them using the analytic model, by comment types and use of hedges. I then separated them into sections dividing the generic and specific comment types. I reflected back on the revised piece and highlighted where the most change took place. I separated the revised piece by the amount of revision. After researching the data, I realized the amount of revision was more significant by the text specific comments. Therefore, my data showed that the more text specific the comments were, there was more indication of what the teacher expected which the student want to fulfill.

Data:

Analytic Model:	Comment Types:	Use of Hedges:	Text-Specific:	Revision: (since this was my paper)
2- average: "work on your intro. this is too general."	1-ask for info/questions: "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose, networks for communication, values/assumptions, lexis, style  etc defines a person as a freelance beauty writer? "	1- hedges included- "can you..."	0- generic	6- substantive
3- long: "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose,	2-make a request/question-" so beauty writers select their own images?  Do they work with photographers or do they take their own pictures?"3-make a		1- text specific- "Awesome!   So this is a pattern of talk (and way of behaving as you point out in the next paragraph)  a fashion freelancer would need to master."
	7-make a positive comment, statement- "Good observation about the adjectives!"
	4- make a request imperative- "Use your analysis to make some generalizations

HYPOTHESIS:

Text specific comments and some general comments show the student what a teacher is expecting. Text specific comments give more of an indication of expectations.

DISCUSSION/PATTERNS:

When referring back to the areas where specific comments were made, the revisions were much more detailed and answered the questions the professor made and also incorporated what the professor asked for. Therefore, the student was aware that in that part of the essay the professor was expecting a certain change and the student made the change.

If the professor did not use specific language to infer what he/she wanted, it would lack expectations and the revisions probably would not be made correctly.

The areas where the teacher didn’t make specific comments, such as “good observation!” the student make as many changes or changes at all because that type of comment shows that it was written well enough to keep the same.

Therefore, where the teacher writes comments and the level specifics initiates a certain expectation for revision.

COMMENTS:

There was a wide range of comments that were used in this draft.  Both general and specific comments were encouraging, detailed and unbiased. The comments were clear and to the point and were not discouraging.

Specific comments, such as "What defines the identity toolkit for beauty writers?  What purpose, networks for communication, values/assumptions, lexis, style, etc. defines a person as a freelance beauty writer?" asks questions and the student can infer that the professor would expect an answer, that is why a professor gives specific feedback.

General comments, such as “"work on your intro. this is too general." also shows expectations by saying change needs to be made but not at the same degree as a more specific comment. This type of comment makes a student work a little harder to use the rest of the comments as a guide.

ANLAYSIS/CONCLUSION:

Because there were text specific comments, such as giving imperative requests such as "hit the general overview of gee and swales," I observed that comments can be useful in order for a teacher to present what they are looking for, and for a student to be aware of their expectations. Positive text-specific comments give specific insight to what a teacher wants and in what capacity. It is an opportunity to see improvements that are needed in order to get a better grade. In each part of the essay where the professor made text specific comments, the student made substantial improvements in order to meet the professor’s expectations.

General comments give detail and expectations but may not give enough detail in order to support a professor’s broader expectations. Therefore the revisions may not be as substantive.

LIMITATIONS:

Since I chose to do the sample draft I sent in, I am familiar with comments and how they helped me become aware of what was expected. If someone is not familiar with the assignment, they might not think that the comments were that specific. Also, if they did not have the revisions, they would not know what specific changes the student made. Since I knew that I revised the paper accordingly and received a better mark, I know that the text-specific comments were able to show me what the teacher was expecting in certain places of my essay.

OVERALL THEORY:

I believe that text specific comments and feedback to give enough information to a student to make proper revisions to meet the professor’s expectations.